Contacts
Contacts are painful objects that are inserted into the eye, and are worn daily, despite stupid idiots thinking that they are worn all the time and you never have to take them off, which would, obviously, result in permanent brain damage, just like eating healthy food, so don't listen to your mother about what she has to say otherwise. History Steel contacts The first contacts were developed by Microsoft Sam in 1845, through the collaboration of Windows Vista and YouTube & MySpace, all three of which are known for their "perfect" contact lenses, which are, in fact, nowhere near perfect; they are instead a rigidy version of a wannabe circle and are almost three inches thick. They were made out of steel, and people had to pinch their eye everyday for five years so they could prepare to wear steel contacts, as that was the name of them back then. These "steel contacts" were eventually proven to be controversial and would fall out every time the wearer would blink their eye. Critics who reviewed the steel contacts stated "that they were painful to wear, and I would know because I bought my grandmother a pair and she hired a hitman to kill me because they were 'so aweful and irritating'." Clear contacts After hearing this, in 1903, WV & Y & M (Windows Vista & Youtube & MySpace's collaboration initials) decided it was best to trash those "terrible" contacts and develop new ones, which resulted in contacts that you could actually see out of, and were proven to be much easier to wear than the steel contacts, which had proven to give migranes and sometimes even heart attacks, according to doctors who don't know what they're talking about. The clear contacts got positive reviews, but once again, eventually, people got spoiled of wearing imperfect contacts and decided that these "just weren't good enough", which ultimately resulted as the cause of WWI (World War One) and possibly the cause of WWII (World War Two). Today's contacts Knowing this, WV & Y (MySpace dropped out of the collaboration because it needed its space from the other two) decided to develop a third pair of contacts which were their most successful, and it resulted in people being happy and not having to switch to glasses all the time (like usual). However, this made people so happy that they started having heart attacks and strokes, and eventually, WV (YouTube dropped out of the collaboration too) was sued for $50k (50 thousand dollars) and was told that it only had seven days to pay it, so it took back all its contact lens and was offered a deal by Walmart, which was that Walmart would pay $50k (50 thousand dollars) if WV agreed to sign a contract which would allow Walmart to legally say that it was their development and always there development and WV had nothing to do with it whatsoever. WV did not want to this, but they were forced to because of the deadline that they had to pay the money, so they agreed and now it's Walmart's development, apparently. Physical appearance Today's contacts are round and boring, clear and annoying, and soft and hard both at the same time. It's really amazing, or at least, it's really amazing to very boring people such as teachers and scientists. See also *War *Microsoft Sam *Eye